absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
