Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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