Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
