I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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