Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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