no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
50% drunk capacity currently
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize