My nipple is on Facebook.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
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I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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The dick lei will go down in squad history
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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