you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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