I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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