he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
