I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize