My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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