Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
