Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
