I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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