didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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