she peed on how many people?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
