Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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