thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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