My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
