dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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