You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
