I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
