you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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