I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
