I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
