Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize