now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
