Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He did a backflip because drugs
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