I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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