in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
