ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
