I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
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Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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