i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
