I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
