I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Help. Why am I so naked?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
