..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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