Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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