Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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