So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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