Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
