watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize