O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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