It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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