What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize