Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
