This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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