i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
