she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize