the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
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