I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
