dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
