you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
