break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
