ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
